I traveled into China from Vietnam. By bus. It was long and
boring, with beautiful scenery. And as usual, I was the only foreigner on the
bus. So when shit got weird I had no one to turn to to see if the world had
truly gone bat shit crazy.
Crossing the border was easy. Really easy actually. Getting
on some of the trains across China has actually proved much more difficult than
getting into the country. The border guards who processed me were cool; most of
them smiled at me curiously, or ignored me. Some of them tried to practice
their English with me. It all went smoothly and simply. Once I’d gotten into
the country I took another bus, the one I’d ride to the city of Nanning. That’s
when things got weird.
There was a small TV at the front of the bus, and one at the
rear. The TV showed brutal, and I mean BRUTAL bus crashes. This was real
footage from security cameras on buses- it was black and white, and just grainy
enough to assure you that it was real. You could see people tense up the second
before the camera shook and they were all tossed around like rag dolls across
the grainy, black and white screen. I saw an unaware bus driver get thrown
through a window after a collision. In another clip the floor became ceiling as
people were thrown against metal bars and each other. Police officers sorted through
debris and dead bodies in the following scene. Next, a little cartoon came on
telling me to use my seat belt; I buckled the thing as tightly as it would go.
Next
there were, unceremoniously and without warning, singing condoms on the TV.
It’s possible they were meant to be something else, but seriously, what else
could they be? They’re white, phallic shaped objects, with little reservoir
tips at the top.
Someone actually made the decision to show violent, real-life
bus fatalities, followed by two ridiculous singing condom-looking things. To
people entering the country for the first time. What the fuck, China? Watching
these videos, combined with my being vulnerable and alone in a foreign country…
It made me feel like a 13 year old boy watching hardcore Japanese pornography
for the first time. I was confused and uncomfortable, and unsure if what I’d
just seen was real. But I also worried that what I’d just witnessed might have
permanently broken something inside of me.
I got to Nanning expecting it to be like all the other bus
rides I’d experienced in Asia. Motto taxis waiting to escort me to a nearby
hostel, each under-pricing the other so I could get the best deal. This is not
what happened. The bus dropped me off at an empty parking lot. No taxis. No
ATM’s. No English speakers. I stood alone in an industrial looking parking lot,
no Chinese money in hand because I’m me. No hostel booked. No idea where the
nearest lodging might be. Some traveler I am, huh?
Exhausted, hungry, utterly alone, and not dressed to handle
the cold at all- I wandered. For maybe an hour or more. I found an ATM, found
an overpriced hotel, and fell in love with a country.
People talk a lot of shit about China, but I loved it. I
swear to God I did. The food. The incredibly kind people. As soon as I passed
the mind-fuck of singing condoms and deadly bus crashes, and made it to
Nanning, I absolutely fell in love with the Chinese people.
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